Five Christmases: An Original Poem


5 Christmases ago I was dead in my sins
a 27 year old husk of "What might have beens"
rebellion, corruption, completed rejection
hater of spiritual things, Edenic defection

not loving good, a brute fully lost
my sinful rap sheet laminated/embossed
a mess, a nightmare
trapped in a good person
heart full of hatred
a mouthful of cursing

no one more deserving
someone fully worthy
--- of God's own rejection
(not the Son's full perfection)
wrath - the gallows
death knell to me
Is what I deserved my blind eyes couldn't see

grasping at walls, looking for life
in the bottle - good works
community service
relationships to flourish
"I'm not a sinner, no way, not me"
I'm trying so hard, sure got flaws but I'm good
Oh Lord, please don't let me be misunderstood

Till God intervened
parted my heart's Red Sea
torn asunder, ripped apart
The Morning Star dawned in my darkened heart

Profound absurity
laughing like Sarah
How could God have mercy
on a sinner so barren

Yet Jesus Christ came for sinners like me
off came the blinders - I can finally see
nothing I could ever do to just be
yet on the cross he covers my total need
& all I'm asked is to do is just "see & believe"

A life transformed
a whole new creation
a brand new book
now God's print on my pages

I never forecasted 5 Christmases past
God forgiveness and forged a new path

New life granted to a sinner like me
my chains fell off, slave to family
My Lord bore the cost
as he hung on the cross
I don't want to miss
the Father's sweet kiss
approval, signet ring, full inheritance
God overcame my sinful resistance
to share the gospel with relentless persistence

I've been set free
because after 5 Christmases came four
by then no more

God in the manger to God on the cross
canceling debt, seeking the lost
Christmas he came for chief sinners like me
& I was saved March 1st of 2015
and I joined the chorus of all the redeemed

gifts can't be earned but they must be received
reconciliation is found by faith, just believe
If God can save me, then there is no reason
Christ can't be the gift you get this Christmas season

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