A Retirement Tribute to My Dad

My Dad, Mike Stiver

My dad, Mike Stiver is retiring in a couple of days. He and my mom came recently to St. Paul to visit Allison and I, and we went out for dinner. During the meal, he recounted his entire work history to all of us, which started as a paperboy at age 7, running up and down the streets of Merrill, WI early in the morning. 

When I think about both of my parents, I'm often reminded of the strong work ethic that they instilled in us. When I think about my dad's work career, I think about his hard manual labor in paper mills and other places, all of his hard work focused on honoring his upbringing and taking care of his wife and kids. (NOTE: My mom is an amazing worker and also did tremendous things for our family, but she ain't retiring, so no tribute for her....yet - this one's about Dad).

One of the biggest things that ever happened for our family was that my dad got hired as a maintenance man at Wausau Paper in Brokaw, Wisconsin. This happened when we were still younger kids. This was important because in many ways this job provided the income, stability, and family time that blessed our childhood and upbringing. 

If I recall correctly (this story is a recollection, so it might not be 100% accurate), the story goes like this: 

Dad had been called into an interview for a job at Wausau Paper. He was looking for new work because of a changing work environment at a previous job support from my mom When he sat down with one of the company's hiring managers, which I think was maybe in a second interview, he was flatly told, "There's 100 applicants and we're only hiring for 6 jobs."

At the end of the interview, with all of that in mind, Dad stood up and told the hiring manager bluntly, "I'm a good worker, I've got a wife and three kids, so I'll show up every day and work my butt off. If you don't hire me, that's your loss."

The next day he got a call that he got the job. 

My dad has always had a sense of Responsibility. StrengthFinders defines it this way: 

"People with the StrengthsFinder theme of Responsibility follow through on their commitments – they are known to take “psychological ownership” of anything they commit to; relationships, work, personal interests, volunteer opportunities, critical causes, etc.…

Once the person with Responsibility commits to something, they feel emotionally bound to doing the best, quality job they can. This emotional bond leads them to fulfill what they say they will do. People with the strength of Responsibility believe that their name, reputation, and legacy may depend on completing what they say they are going to do – exceeding the expectations of others.

People with the strength of Responsibility make commitments that align with and reflect their personal values. They are conscientious, dedicated and focused on doing the right things and doing things right. This sense of ‘rightness’ is a quality that invites a person with Responsibility to commit strongly.

If something is the right thing to do, it needs to be done. You can count on the person with the strength of Responsibility to get things done, to do things right, and to complete with class what they have committed to do."

I think this describes the commitment of my dad to our family, most significantly showed by his commitment to us and to being the best employee he could be. My dad is not perfect - far from it - but this is something he has always instilled (directly and indirectly) in his less than perfect children: "If something is the right thing to do, it needs to be done, and it should be the best quality job possible."

I will always have the utmost respect for my dad and his faithfulness in taking care of our family as well as his commitment to being a good worker. 

One of the splendid attributes of God is His faithfulness. God is committed to keeping His Word and coming through on His promises. God shows up everyday and cares for His creation, not because we deserve it, but because of His great love for people. God even goes so far as to send His Son to die a sacrificial death for sinners who have rejected him, and then invites all people to believe in the resurrected Jesus for forgiveness and reconciliation to their Maker. I've seen my dad demonstrate this faithfulness and sacrificial love by how he has served his family in his working career, and I'm excited to spend more time with him now that he's retiring. 

Lastly, here's a song that I've been really thinking about as my dad nears retirement. I've included the lyrics below with some comments of why this song and its story are so meaningful to me when I think about my dad. It's also a shoutout to my dad, because this song reminds me of our shared love for the Marshall Tucker Band. 

"Keep The Wolves Away" - Uncle Lucius

Took my first breath, where the muddy Brazos, spills into the gulf of Mexico
Where the skyline’s colored by chemical plants, t’put bread on the table of the working man
Where the working man does his best to provide, safety and shelter for kids and a wife
Given little love n soul every day, making over time to keep the wolves away

My dad definitely lived out the line, "The working man does his best to provide, safety and shelter for kids and a wife." Like all of us, there were times when he was selfish, but more often than not, my dad put aside his preferences and made sure his family came first and was taken care of. Man, I appreciate that so much, Dad. These lyrics make me think of that. 

Well I was barely thirteen when the company man, tried to dig my daddy’s grave

It happened on a French owned tanker ship, spilling poison in the Galveston Bay

Where the liquid fire filled his lungs and his eyes, silenced any mortal cries

Cold and the grip of death stinging pain, he fought like hell to keep the wolves away

This stanza in particular makes me think of my dad's perseverance. While he was getting nearer and nearer to retirement age, Wausau Paper Brokaw closed its doors. There's something a man goes through when he is out of work, and my dad persevered through it all, remaining optimistic and putting himself out there to look for new work. Man, I appreciate that so much, Dad.

For the next few years dad was sick as a dog, but he made a recovery just to spite the odds
Settlement came and we moved out of town, where the sky isn’t heavy with refinery clouds
Yeah he’s still alive he’s doing good he’s in his fifties
But the moneys running out, and he’s pinching for pennies
So I'm goin’ for broke with every song I’ve made, ‘cos now it’s my turn to keep the wolves away

I don't think dad will be pinching for pennies, because of his focus on saving and planning for retirement. Rather, when I think of these lyrics, I think of how my dad's "official" working career is coming to an end, and hopefully mine is just beginning. If God continues to be gracious, my career in ministry is just getting started. It's not a literal "changing of the guard" but in some sense I want to carry on the faithfulness and sacrificial nature of my dad's work ethic as I seek to spread the gospel in this world and care for sinners. This song makes me think of the great foundation that both my parents have laid out for me through their hard work, and so now I'm the one going for broke with every song I play, because now it's my turn to keep the wolves away. 

Dad, thanks for all you've done for our family. I'm really excited to see what retirement looks like on you for many reasons. First, I'm excited to see all the good you can do with more time. Second, I'm excited to get more time with you. Lastly, I'm excited to go catch some fish. 

I love you, Dad.