PaulStiver.com

One of the biggest questions we subtly ask ourselves on a daily basis is, "Am I enough?" The reason this question comes in such subtle ways is we don't realize we are doing it. We don't realize that we are under a barrage of constant self-evaluation. Beyond self-evaluation, which for some (like me) can be incessant, we come under constant evaluation that the world is throwing at us, especially in an individualistic, humanistic society like America. Every day we are evaluated (by ourselves and the world) on this question:  "Am I __________ enough?" Fill-in-the-blank: Smart Educated Woke Strong Fit Skinny Intelligent Doing Earning Living Free In Control Respected Appreciated Cool Popular Loved Cared About Advertising tells us that unless you are a man who doesn't grow a strong beard, know the intricacies of fine whiskey, have six-pack abs, perfect hair, control your own destiny, drive a nice truck, do well with the ladies, a...

No matter where you come from with matters of faith, you’ve probably all sung these words at one point or another: Silent night, holy night All is calm, all is bright Round yon Virgin, Mother, Mother and Child Holy infant so tender and mild Sleep in heavenly peace Sleep in heavenly peace Christ, Christ, the Savior is born Christ, Christ, the Savior Christ, Christ, the Savior is born. We used to sing these every year for the Christmas program at St. Francis Xavier, where I went to elementary and middle school. Then, we would go eat pie. These lyrics represent one of the greatest mysteries of the Bible, and one of the most peculiar events in history. It is the Christmas season. This is a season where we imbibe spirits wearing ugly sweaters which have now just become sweaters. We get together with family, and probably try to avoid political conversations. We order enough packages to put a massive strain on freight companies like UPS. We eat enough calorie...

There are few things more universal than complaining. Think about it. Have you complained today? I'm sure I have. Almost everyone complains about something each day. Traffic, weather, health, coworkers, you name it. Human beings are really good at finding things to complain about. Not to mention, some things are really fun to complain about, like other people. What is complaining? Complaining is basically the expression of dissatisfaction or annoyance with circumstances, situations, people, or outcomes. When we complain, we might be venting, expressing a grievance, demonstrating frustration, or lamenting. Complaining leaves us with an "I Deserve" mentality. We complain because we feel entitled. What leads us to feeling entitled? What leads us to feeling like we deserve better? We demand satisfaction! This Psychology Today article mentions that there are chronic complainers (we all know some, or maybe we are one!) who consistently tend toward a negative min...