Give Or Take

When we see things like the trending hashtag, #MeToo it breaks our hearts. It should. We should be properly grieved and frustrated. We should hate the fact that many, many women have been overpowered, manipulated, abused, assaulted, dehumanized, raped, and victimized by men.

We should feel the magnitude of the problem. This is not okay.

For those of us who have maybe been unaware of the sheer magnitude and pervasiveness of the abuse, harassment, and assault that many women have experienced, #MeToo can come as quite a shock. We have to be quick to avoid dismissing these stories. We have to be quick to avoid rationalizing away the problem. We have to be quick to avoid forgetting this reality.

For men, we have to change. We need to get to work. We have to be renewed in the fight. We have to hate any forms of superiority that arise in our own hearts. We have to lay down any thoughts that we have any "rights" over women.

We have to question our own hearts and examine our own motives, and if we find anything in us that doesn't want to treat women with absolute dignity, honor, and respect, we need to repent. 

Men, we need to be able to see areas that we tend to dismiss or invalidate or belittle or overpower women, and we need to stop. This is even crude joking, it all counts! We need heart change. We have to be properly grieved that our actions have served to hurt women, and we need to do everything we can to atone for those actions.

The challenge is real because we face down the ideal of what manhood and masculinity is in our culture every single day.

We look at Hugh Hefner as the man who "had it all."

We regard Don Draper as this misunderstood ideal man.

Dos Equis still runs a campaign that showcases "The Most Interesting Man in the World," as this debonaire gentlemen who can't be tied down by modern convention.

The majority of pornography exists to serve men who take. Often times in these scenes, the male actor is physically aggressive toward the woman. The male actor "takes" women who can't resist him. And the pornography viewer is idolizing that scene, fantasizing that he was the man who is "in control," or forcing the woman to do whatever his heart desires.

If we look at many of the great heroes of film, admired executives in business, or legendary sports stars, we see these men as "pinnacles of masculinity." We worship these men as those who "let nothing and nobody stand in their way."

If we are going to repent, we have to acknowledge truth about our culture. Our culture idolizes the man who takes. We idolize the man who uses his strength and power over others to get what he wants. He takes what he wants and nobody can stop him.



We have a disconnect. We are grieved by #MeToo. We hate all these instances of men overpowering women. And yet we also idolize the men who won't be denied. What does God say about it?

First, we have the creation:

Genesis 1:26-28

Then God said, “Let us make man in our image, after our likeness. And let them have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth.”

So God created man in his own image,
in the image of God he created him;
male and female he created them.


And God blessed them. And God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth.” (ESV)

The bible teaches that men and women are created in God's image.

What does this mean?

From the ESV.org study bible:

(The Image of God) describes how humans resemble God in their ability to think, to communicate, to understand right and wrong, to be creative, and to experience relationships with God and with one another.

This means a few things:

1. Men and women are created equally.
2. Men and women are created to be in special relationship with God, to reflect His character and truths about Him into the world.
3. Men and women (and all humans) are especially esteemed by God. We are set apart by God. We are given special dignity and honor. We see this as God commands us to steward over His creation.

These are only a few implications of this doctrine of the image of God, but we see here that men and women are co-workers with God, in relationship with Him and with His creation. We are equals, we are dignified by God, given a special place of honor in His creation.

In regards to #MeToo, we see that women are created in the image of God and have special dignity. Men are created in the image of God and in our relationship with women, we are to be defenders of their dignity. 

Why don't we get this right?

Sunday school answer - SIN. 

Genesis 3 tells us of the fall, where humanity walks away from God and His created order and we start to define things our own way. In particular when discussing issues like #MeToo, we can see this aspect of the fall. As God is telling of the curse of sin he says:

Genesis 3:16

To the woman he said,

“I will surely multiply your pain in childbearing;
in pain you shall bring forth children.
Your desire shall be contrary to your husband,
but he shall rule over you.” (ESV)

The result of sin is that we walk slowly and surely away from reflecting the image of God. We start to become less than what we were created to be. Our sin has real consequences as it separates us from God and creates chaos in relationships.

We see this here in the words, "He shall rule over you." What God had intended male and female relationships to resemble was His holiness and moral perfection. When we sinned we walked away from that and we are left with the shame of our error.

What we see when we look at #MeToo is one of the impacts of sin. Men are desiring and acting upon their desire to "rule over" women. It is sin, it is absolutely disgusting, and we should hate it.

This should also point us forward to the way things should be!

This world is not the way it should be. We aren't living in the ways God created us to live.

The good news is that Jesus Christ came into the world to deal with the problem of sin.

God the Son became man by taking on flesh.
He lived among us, teaching us the Word of God.
Jesus was the perfect human, because he fully lived in the Image of God. Jesus perfectly reflected God's nature to the world.

He is the radiance of the glory of God and the exact imprint of his nature (Hebrews 1:3a ESV)

Jesus lived the perfect, holy life. He lived his life the way God created it to be. He was fully human. Sin and its effects never tainted Jesus Christ, he was spotless.

And in his spotlessness, Jesus Christ took our punishment for sin. Jesus Christ went to the cross to deal with the problem of sin at its root - our hearts. 

For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God. (2 Corinthians 5:21 ESV)

Jesus became the spotless sacrifice sent from God, who willingly laid down his life, that he might be the sacrifice for sins. Jesus in his flesh died for us that we might be reconciled to God, so that in our reconciliation we could be restored in relationship to God and through the help of the Holy Spirit, be renewed to live in God's image once again.

Jesus gets us our dignity back by dying the undignified and horrific death we deserve. He pays for our sin. 


A change comes.

For those who by grace, put their faith in Jesus Christ and receive the Holy Spirit, a change comes.  

Ephesians 4:22-24 tells us:

to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. (ESV)

Those who have come to faith in Christ put off the old self, the old body of sin. Our deceitful and corrupt desire to "rule over women," must be repented of and changed. And the Holy Spirit helps to renew our minds so that we do change - so we can live like we were supposed to!

In Christ, we are recreated after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness. We get our dignity back and we start the renewal process of living like we were created to live!

Because of the redemptive work of Christ on the cross, we are freed from sin's power and we can start to fight it. We can be renewed in true righteousness and holiness to live like God desires us to live. We can be the "biblical man," with Christ as our example and our Lord.

Look at the Biblical Man, in the image of Christ in Ephesians 5:

Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us, a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. (Ephesians 5:1-2 ESV)

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit in everything to their husbands.

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish. In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ does the church, because we are members of his body. (Ephesians 5:22-30 ESV)

We see from Christ's relationship with his church how biblical men are supposed to live:

The biblical man:

• Lays down his life for women in his life. A biblical man does not things his life is of more value than others, rather he looks to the needs of others as well as his own. 
• Gives himself up for her needs, for her sake. A true biblical man will always make sure that others' needs are being met before his own. 
• Nourishes and cherishes. Christ protects women and makes sure that they are honored and dignified. The biblical man does the same, always cautious and aware of his obligation to protect and defend women.
• Puts her needs first. The picture of Christ is the man who laid down his preferences so that we could be saved. In instances big and small he makes sure that women are served and cared for first. Men, we must do this for women in our lives. Women have to be put first.
• Lastly, the biblical man uses his strength to benefit others. The true and only fully biblical man, Jesus Christ, laid down his life and his strength, to serve the oppressed. Men, we have to leverage our strength to help women, not to harm or overpower them. In this way we are like God's man, Jesus Christ.

These are many of the ways that Christ dignifies and honors and protects women. He always uses his life and his strength to serve and benefit others. Men, we absolutely have to do the same. We have to call out lies of men in our lives who don't live as biblical men. We have to call out our culture and those around us who don't seek to honor and dignify women in their lives. We have to speak up when we hear crude or belittling joking. We have to know and understand what women experience in their lives. We have to hate abuse, assault, harassment, and anything else that is out of line with the dignity God has given women. Above all, through the Holy Spirit's power, we have to be renewed to live more like Christ!

In conclusion, we see the contrast between culture's man and the Bible's man. 

Culture's man takes. The Bible's man gives. 

Which one are you?

Men, let's be properly grieved by the scope and magnitude of #MeToo and bring about in ourselves and others a godly repentance. Let's speak up, let's act. Let's make sure that our lives are focused on Christ and how he loves and gives of himself. Let's make sure that we use our strength to help those who are being oppressed. Let's make sure we resist the lies that culture is telling us about what makes a man. Let's do everything we can to make better disciples of ourselves and our brothers so that we can make a kingdom impact as we fight the darkness of sin that results in hashtags like, #MeToo. 

Let's turn that #MeToo around and do everything we can to give our lives to make sure that women are protected, dignified, honored, and treated with respect - that God may be glorified with how we live our new lives in Christ in his image!

I'm making this a commitment with my life, with God's help. 

Men, will you join me in saying, me too?