Fast Car


This is the story of the first time that Allison knew that she loved me. I like this story because it means that Allison loved me, and she still does! (That's awesome!)

When Allison and I first started dating, it was completely amazing to me. I had no idea why a girl as amazing as her would want to go out with a guy like me. I had no money, an abrasive personality, and I drove a minivan that had no muffler. I did not see myself as worthy of love, especially not from someone as amazing as Allison. If you've ever heard the Fastball song, "She's So High Above Me," that is basically what I was experiencing.

Even deeper down, however I was experiencing shame. Shame tells us that we are not worthy of love, because we think we are bad. We think we are bad deep down at our core when we struggle with shame. Shame also tells us that we don't belong. That's why I always loved the song "Fast Car" by Tracy Chapman.

Fast Car by Tracy Chapman
Fast Car lyrics

You got a fast car
Is it fast enough so we can fly away
We gotta make a decision
Leave tonight or live and die this way
So remember we were driving, driving in your car
Speed so fast I felt like I was drunk
City lights lay out before us
And your arm felt nice wrapped 'round my shoulder
I had a feeling that I belonged
I had a feeling I could be someone, be someone, be someone
I always loved singing along to Fast Car. It's one of the best sing-along songs there is! 
I had a feeling that I belonged. I had a feeling that I could be someone. 
These lyrics always stood out to me. I value these lyrics. And so it was in that muffler-less minivan that I was unafraid to be myself. I sang loudly along with Tracy Chapman, I shamelessly sang Fast Car in front of Allison. In the passenger seat of my noisy Toyota Sienna, with music blasting and me singing my lungs out, Allison looked over at me and knew she loved me.

I struggled to feel loved despite knowing that she loved me. 

Because of my wrestling with feelings of self-worth, I struggled to feel loved even when Allison made it so clear. She has loved me through all of my mess. There have been times in our relationship where I felt like I offered Allison nothing. There have been times where I felt completely useless to her. Or times where I have hurt her. And yet she loves me through that.

 The reason I write about this is because I think for a lot of us, we experience this with the gospel. The times where I think I haven't earned Allison's love are hard, because I think I need to. I think I need to be a perfect guy and that I have to earn Allison's love. But that's simply not true. I wasn't perfect when she met me, and I sure ain't perfect now! But she chooses to love me.

In the same way, the gospel tells us that God chooses us because He loves us. Even though we were sinners, God sent Jesus to die for our sins because He loves us. Despite the fact that we are completely unworthy, God qualifies us. The gospel tells us that God gives us the righteousness of Christ. When we put our faith in Jesus, we receive his righteousness.

In God's eyes, we are perfect, holy, spotless - not because of what we have done to earn God's love, but because of what Jesus has done.

The gospel tells us that when we become united to Christ by faith and the receiving of the Holy Spirit, we are justified and perfect in God's sight. God's love in the gospel is not based on our merit.

This is a hard thing. We want to earn God's love and the gospel tells us we don't have to (and we aren't even able to). But we can receive God's loving gift of grace in Christ Jesus. We can put our faith in Christ because of his perfection. We don't have to be perfect because he is, and then we get to work for our perfection in him. This gives us life and encourages us onward in the faith!

Tim Keller says:



God wants our faith, and through our faith He declares us righteous. Why?

Wayne Grudem says, "Faith is the one human attitude that is the opposite of depending on oneself, for it involves trust in or dependence upon another. Thus, it is devoid of self-reliance or attempts to gain righteousness by human effort." (Systematic Theology, p. 201)

God doesn't want us to earn his love, he wants us to put our faith in His love. 

 This is the gospel:

Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

 For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die—but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. 
(Romans 5:1-8 ESV)

 We have peace with God.
We are justified by our faith in Jesus (because Jesus lived the perfect life and gave himself as the sacrifice for our sins).
We have obtained access to God and we rejoice in hope!
God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.
Jesus died for us when we were weak and ungodly.
God's love is this: While we were sinners, Christ died for us.

God wants you to trust His gift of grace in Christ Jesus.


Are you trying to earn God's love?

 What can it look like for you to trust in Christ as your righteousness?



----------------------------
Wayne Grudem. Systematic Theology. (Grand Rapids. Zondervan). 1994

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